ESPFeeling like I’ve been in this weird funk latelyand when I woke up this morningnot much had changedI’ve just been existinghoping something would make me feelokaySo I got dressed and prayed for an abundanceof strength to endure yet another dayAnd everyday moving forwardI would feel a tad bit better somehow and be fineA little bit more today than I didyesterdayIs that really you standing in front of me?How could you have knownI was actually needing to see you now?Did my hopes and prayersconjure you to myreality?But the preeminent part of our meeting today wasHow you saw me and recognized me firstand you kind of snickered when you declared“Yeah, I was sort of hopingI would see youtoday…”
How Does It Feel?So how does it feelto look at me from afarmillion miles awayAny memoriesof how much you wanted meof how things once wasWe had come so farfor you to just screw things upus ending so bad.We can never goback before we burned the bridgetoo much pain remains.So how do I feelto look at you from afarmillion miles awayJust sad...
blurThis weekend went by in a blurAnd here I am againStuck here as if I never leftNot sure how or whyBut I have been at this awful place beforeLabeled animosity for some time nowYou have taken me to this place beforeAnd I’m not sure what I can doTo avoid being trapped here much longerSo I did what I thought I could never doAnd that’s give up all hopesThat we could ever be anythingAnd to curse you so you would thinkYou’re nothing to meNow I just have to live with my decisionAnd act as if I’m alrightWhen secretly every timeI hear you laugh I’m dying insideSo kill me as you have doneSo many times beforeFor it won’t be too longBefore any fond memoriesAre left and then I’ll beGone…
ChangeIn lifeyou're given choices and chancesand what you decidedetermines your fate.The biggest mistake I made wasfinally giving you a chance,not oncebut several times.I kept thinking your actionswere due to hurt and retributionbut somehow maybe deep down insideyou did truly care.Each and every timeyou continued to disappoint me.So now, here I ama messAnd all I want today isfor you to change,even though I have discernedthat that's impossibleand all I can hope fornowis for me, myselfto change...
I Like BeginningsI like beginningsWhen anything seems possibleWhen we have yet to discoverEach other's vulnerabilities and weaknessesWhat buttons to push causing the other painAnd to use it far too oftenI like beginningsWhen there's no bad history or tears shedIll recollection that creeps up on usWhen faced with our own insecuritiesAnd worthless self doubtsOf the pastI like beginningsWhen love is a possibilityAnd just the thought of youLeading to something newComforts my broken heartHelping the soreness to mendI like endingsAn end of a horrid chapterWith hardly any good memoriesTo remember or reflectMaking that previous beginning comeTo an end
AgainAnother night alone,I'm thinking aboutyou again.What did I ever doto get myself here,thinking aboutyou again?I knew from the beginningwe would end up here,hurt and mad at each other.So I tried my bestto stay clearof you butI could tell thatI was hurting youand that somehowhurt me too.So nowI find myself here alone,thinking ofyou again
DadYou might not have been the best father in the world and even though we had our differences,you loved meunconditionally.I might have not been the best daughter in the world and even though we had our differences, I loved youunconditionally...
What?What do write aboutwhen you're tired ofwords?Words said,words heard,words that nevermaterialized intoanythingreal
What do write aboutwhen you're tired offeelings?Feeling hurt,feeling depressed,just feelingbad
What do write aboutwhen you're tired ofjust being?Being deceived,being lied to,just beingme
loss for wordswhat do you to sayto someonewhenit seems like everythingyou saymakes them mad?so I triedto walkawayeven thoughit hurts so much insideto.I wanted to showyouthat i carebut maybeyou don't want meto carebecause maybeyou really don't careabout meanymore.you practicallypushedme out the doorwith your wordsand howyou won't even lookat mewhenI'm tryingto talk to you.so I left,feeling worsethan whenI started.
To The Artist(s)To The Artist(s)© SharquelleArt is born from painBeauty in a world of hurtShow this world your scars
available nowlove is like a bruiselurking just beneath your skinbegging to be born
Metaphorically SpeakingPeople are like books;full of stories and easilybroken at the spine.
HAIKUWRIMOCOMPLETE 2013February 28th, 2013Dire desperationA feeble whimper for help;roar of these raw times.February 27th, 2013Gluttonous ash cloudsucks the moon's bloodand swallows the night.February 26th, 2013Bark! An explosion!Angry bodies escape thenetwork of lung cells.February 25th, 2013Silently cloning,multiplying, honing in,determined to kill.February 24th, 2013Tea and sympathyreadily availablefor my dear sister.February 23rd, 2013I will hold my breathas the north wind does the samewaiting for your love.February 22nd, 2013He hovers behind;Hamletian apparition.Always following.February 21st, 2013A long slow curve,your smile upon my shoulder,a scar of your touch.February 20th, 2013Dandelion seed,Where do you go while I sleep?To whom do you run?February 19th, 2013Whorls from fingersImprinted in the treesCount their rings too.February 18th, 2013Orchid explodes.Sudden
Advice from Master ShaoAs the Spinda movesSo the grass on the hill flowsA beautiful danceAs the Swablu singsSo does the wind in the treesA beautiful songAs the LunatoneRises in the evening skyThe moon does alsoBreath as the breeze doesAllow the wind to carryYour spirit awayThe world always movesRegardless of what you doYou must also moveSing like the SwabluRise just as the LunatoneDance like the SpindaStop to enjoy lifeOr it will move without youAnd you will be lost
(and the dark stopped being scary)once I fell asleepbeside you, I no longerhad need for nightlights.
Twisted FIctionI wrote you lettersWritten in blood. Tainted byMy twisted fiction.
Night haikuThe moon comforts a waveBefore its impending deathUpon the shore
Toiki吐息なら白い悲しみ身を痛む笑えば消える絶望と雪Toiki naraShiroi kanashimiMi wo itamuWaraeba kieruZetsubou to yukiIf it's a sigh,A white griefHurts one's bodyIf one smilesDisappears the despair and snow
MiraclesJust believe in meand ultimately in Himfor love's miracles...