ESPFeeling like I’ve been in this weird funk latelyand when I woke up this morningnot much had changedI’ve just been existinghoping something would make me feelokaySo I got dressed and prayed for an abundanceof strength to endure yet another dayAnd everyday moving forwardI would feel a tad bit better somehow and be fineA little bit more today than I didyesterdayIs that really you standing in front of me?How could you have knownI was actually needing to see you now?Did my hopes and prayersconjure you to myreality?But the preeminent part of our meeting today wasHow you saw me and recognized me firstand you kind of snickered when you declared“Yeah, I was sort of hopingI would see youtoday…”
How Does It Feel?So how does it feelto look at me from afarmillion miles awayAny memoriesof how much you wanted meof how things once wasWe had come so farfor you to just screw things upus ending so bad.We can never goback before we burned the bridgetoo much pain remains.So how do I feelto look at you from afarmillion miles awayJust sad...
blurThis weekend went by in a blurAnd here I am againStuck here as if I never leftNot sure how or whyBut I have been at this awful place beforeLabeled animosity for some time nowYou have taken me to this place beforeAnd I’m not sure what I can doTo avoid being trapped here much longerSo I did what I thought I could never doAnd that’s give up all hopesThat we could ever be anythingAnd to curse you so you would thinkYou’re nothing to meNow I just have to live with my decisionAnd act as if I’m alrightWhen secretly every timeI hear you laugh I’m dying insideSo kill me as you have doneSo many times beforeFor it won’t be too longBefore any fond memoriesAre left and then I’ll beGone…
ChangeIn lifeyou're given choices and chancesand what you decidedetermines your fate.The biggest mistake I made wasfinally giving you a chance,not oncebut several times.I kept thinking your actionswere due to hurt and retributionbut somehow maybe deep down insideyou did truly care.Each and every timeyou continued to disappoint me.So now, here I ama messAnd all I want today isfor you to change,even though I have discernedthat that's impossibleand all I can hope fornowis for me, myselfto change...
I Like BeginningsI like beginningsWhen anything seems possibleWhen we have yet to discoverEach other's vulnerabilities and weaknessesWhat buttons to push causing the other painAnd to use it far too oftenI like beginningsWhen there's no bad history or tears shedIll recollection that creeps up on usWhen faced with our own insecuritiesAnd worthless self doubtsOf the pastI like beginningsWhen love is a possibilityAnd just the thought of youLeading to something newComforts my broken heartHelping the soreness to mendI like endingsAn end of a horrid chapterWith hardly any good memoriesTo remember or reflectMaking that previous beginning comeTo an end
AgainAnother night alone,I'm thinking aboutyou again.What did I ever doto get myself here,thinking aboutyou again?I knew from the beginningwe would end up here,hurt and mad at each other.So I tried my bestto stay clearof you butI could tell thatI was hurting youand that somehowhurt me too.So nowI find myself here alone,thinking ofyou again
DadYou might not have been the best father in the world and even though we had our differences,you loved meunconditionally.I might have not been the best daughter in the world and even though we had our differences, I loved youunconditionally...
What?What do write aboutwhen you're tired ofwords?Words said,words heard,words that nevermaterialized intoanythingreal
What do write aboutwhen you're tired offeelings?Feeling hurt,feeling depressed,just feelingbad
What do write aboutwhen you're tired ofjust being?Being deceived,being lied to,just beingme
loss for wordswhat do you to sayto someonewhenit seems like everythingyou saymakes them mad?so I triedto walkawayeven thoughit hurts so much insideto.I wanted to showyouthat i carebut maybeyou don't want meto carebecause maybeyou really don't careabout meanymore.you practicallypushedme out the doorwith your wordsand howyou won't even lookat mewhenI'm tryingto talk to you.so I left,feeling worsethan whenI started.
Haiku Heavensfly me to the moon or send me through a wormhole anywhere but here
turn overwe are allrecyclersof life
empty headsrandom rhymespointless versesnothingany phraseout of the blueadds upto the vastexpanse overour headsclouds gatherstream of versespour downa storm fromsmall beginningsfloodingdrenched with wordsfertile pen sowslines sproutpoetryin the bright sungrowingin good timebountiful odesflourish[ArwynandCole and cattservant ]
awaken (senryu)fantastical dreamsdissolving like bright dew dropsin the morning sun
later (dodoitsu)later is a special timeit watches you through your dayalways waiting till you're doneto see you later
empty heads random rhymespointless versesnothing any phraseout of the blueadds up to the vastexpanse overour heads clouds gatherstream of versespour down a storm fromsmall beginningsflooding drenched with wordsfertile pen sowslines sprout poetryin the bright sungrowing in good timebountiful odesflourish[Miyoji collab between cattservant and me (in italics)]
time's quadranttime's regard (time 1)each momentmeticulouslyunnoticedtime's purpose (time 2)to exista thing must beobservedtime's notice (time 3)to attractit's attentionis hardtime's complaint (time 4)it has noshort term recallof you
awaken (miyoji)night's empiresgone back intothe sands
not a thingthere's nothingtonight, just oldand slow
MiraclesJust believe in meand ultimately in Himfor love's miracles...