ESPFeeling like I’ve been in this weird funk latelyand when I woke up this morningnot much had changedI’ve just been existinghoping something would make me feelokaySo I got dressed and prayed for an abundanceof strength to endure yet another dayAnd everyday moving forwardI would feel a tad bit better somehow and be fineA little bit more today than I didyesterdayIs that really you standing in front of me?How could you have knownI was actually needing to see you now?Did my hopes and prayersconjure you to myreality?But the preeminent part of our meeting today wasHow you saw me and recognized me firstand you kind of snickered when you declared“Yeah, I was sort of hopingI would see youtoday…”
How Does It Feel?So how does it feelto look at me from afarmillion miles awayAny memoriesof how much you wanted meof how things once wasWe had come so farfor you to just screw things upus ending so bad.We can never goback before we burned the bridgetoo much pain remains.So how do I feelto look at you from afarmillion miles awayJust sad...
blurThis weekend went by in a blurAnd here I am againStuck here as if I never leftNot sure how or whyBut I have been at this awful place beforeLabeled animosity for some time nowYou have taken me to this place beforeAnd I’m not sure what I can doTo avoid being trapped here much longerSo I did what I thought I could never doAnd that’s give up all hopesThat we could ever be anythingAnd to curse you so you would thinkYou’re nothing to meNow I just have to live with my decisionAnd act as if I’m alrightWhen secretly every timeI hear you laugh I’m dying insideSo kill me as you have doneSo many times beforeFor it won’t be too longBefore any fond memoriesAre left and then I’ll beGone…
ChangeIn lifeyou're given choices and chancesand what you decidedetermines your fate.The biggest mistake I made wasfinally giving you a chance,not oncebut several times.I kept thinking your actionswere due to hurt and retributionbut somehow maybe deep down insideyou did truly care.Each and every timeyou continued to disappoint me.So now, here I ama messAnd all I want today isfor you to change,even though I have discernedthat that's impossibleand all I can hope fornowis for me, myselfto change...
I Like BeginningsI like beginningsWhen anything seems possibleWhen we have yet to discoverEach other's vulnerabilities and weaknessesWhat buttons to push causing the other painAnd to use it far too oftenI like beginningsWhen there's no bad history or tears shedIll recollection that creeps up on usWhen faced with our own insecuritiesAnd worthless self doubtsOf the pastI like beginningsWhen love is a possibilityAnd just the thought of youLeading to something newComforts my broken heartHelping the soreness to mendI like endingsAn end of a horrid chapterWith hardly any good memoriesTo remember or reflectMaking that previous beginning comeTo an end
AgainAnother night alone,I'm thinking aboutyou again.What did I ever doto get myself here,thinking aboutyou again?I knew from the beginningwe would end up here,hurt and mad at each other.So I tried my bestto stay clearof you butI could tell thatI was hurting youand that somehowhurt me too.So nowI find myself here alone,thinking ofyou again
DadYou might not have been the best father in the world and even though we had our differences,you loved meunconditionally.I might have not been the best daughter in the world and even though we had our differences, I loved youunconditionally...
What?What do write aboutwhen you're tired ofwords?Words said,words heard,words that nevermaterialized intoanythingreal
What do write aboutwhen you're tired offeelings?Feeling hurt,feeling depressed,just feelingbad
What do write aboutwhen you're tired ofjust being?Being deceived,being lied to,just beingme
loss for wordswhat do you to sayto someonewhenit seems like everythingyou saymakes them mad?so I triedto walkawayeven thoughit hurts so much insideto.I wanted to showyouthat i carebut maybeyou don't want meto carebecause maybeyou really don't careabout meanymore.you practicallypushedme out the doorwith your wordsand howyou won't even lookat mewhenI'm tryingto talk to you.so I left,feeling worsethan whenI started.
look at youechoes ofstarlight shine inyour eyes
imperfect architecturedelicate templeyour heart is a chandelieryour brain's a traitor
Haikus from a grieving nightFrost spreads its whitenessDespite ancient white azaleasGriefs still remainLe givre étend sa blancheurMalgré les azalées blanches millénairesLes chagrins restent encoreBenevolent,A dragonfly minds her own waterlilly -Jealous as a womanBienveillante,Une libellule veille sur son propre nénuphar -Jalouse comme une femmeGloomy and high,The oak forest chokes the summer moonNo one saw her wipe out! Ténébreuse et haute,La forêt de chênes étouffe la lune d'étéPersonne ne la vit s'éteindre !
available nowlove is like a bruiselurking just beneath your skinbegging to be born
A Corner of Skya light blue cloud singing in your hand folded once, then once more; the wings of your origami crane I breathe in deep the flesh-like tissue uplifting me through fluttering lids to a corner of skyall to myself, lighter than birds kiting through the draft and rush, reaching for the sun I have no voice with which to sing no feathers, I; still I bank and soar,trying to remember you
November 24th 2015 (Morning Tea)Hot rolling waterReleasing a rush of steamAnd coaxing forth scentExploding inspirationIn a warm green wave through meAs the leaves unfurlAs I sigh breathing deeplyAs my eyes openFinally waking me upDragging me to coherenceReady for another day
singing with the windwindy afternoonsupple cattails bend and swayhis world is motion
ThomarieTnM:Mi declaración a tiempo justo Era una mañana común como cualquier otra.Yo descansaba plácidamente en mi cama; pero comencé a escuchar un sonido muy irritante, sí, era el reloj.Estiré mi mano hacia mi mesa de noche y tomé esa cosa del demonio con mucha fuerza, aventandolo contra la pared.Aún hecho trizas seguía sonando, ¡Que porquería!, en fin, me levanté con una cara de pocos amigos y tiré los pedazos de dicho artefacto por la ventana, me volteé y vi a mi madre parada en la puerta cruzada de brazos mirándome enfurecida. Se quedó en silencio por unos segundos mientras yo la observaba y luego dijo:-Es el 5º esta semana *muy seria*-Lo siento mamá no volverá a pasar-Eso ya lo dijiste 5 veces-la miré con arrepentimiento, ella suspiró y volvió a hablar:-Ya vístete, el desayuno está listo, date prisa o no llegar&
i will delete thisi keep dead flowersin my window in hopes thatthey're just pretending.
MiraclesJust believe in meand ultimately in Himfor love's miracles...